Healthy Habits Require Foolproof Systems

Have you ever struggled to get a new habit to stick beyond a few days? Maybe you’ve nailed it for a week, only for the habit to lose its appeal, or worse, you just completely forget to do it. I know I have. Over the years, I’ve started countless habits with great enthusiasm: doing 10 sit-ups a day, drinking more water, checking in with myself daily, and meditating for just five minutes before bed. You name it, I’ve tried it. Yet, despite my best intentions, the same frustrating pattern unfolds: I’m consistent for three to four days, maybe even seven, and then… poof. I forget. And once I miss a day, the inner critic shows up, berating me for my “failure” and inviting shame and defeat to take over.

Sound familiar? Maybe it’s not meditating for you. Maybe it’s going to the gym, playing with your kid, calling that friend you keep meaning to check in with, or remembering to pick up dog food (again). Whatever the goal, the experience is the same. The frustration of not following through snowballs into feelings of failure, and before you know it, you’re ready to give up entirely.

But here’s the thing: there’s nothing wrong with you or your goals. The problem isn’t the goal itself—it’s the system (or lack thereof) you’ve set up to achieve it. 

The Power of Foolproof Systems 

Every new habit requires a system that makes success inevitable. Without one, your goal will remain an afterthought, constantly competing with the million other things vying for your attention. Habits don’t stick because they’re good ideas; they stick because they’re seamlessly integrated into your life.  

Let me share an example.  

I wanted to meditate for just five minutes before bed. Simple enough, right? For four nights, I did great. On the fifth, I forgot. By the sixth, I remembered halfway through the day but forgot again that evening. Enter the inner critic: “How pathetic. You can’t even remember to do five minutes of meditation.” The shame train barreled in, followed by defeat. “Why bother? I always screw this up anyway.”  

What I’ve learned through trial and error is this: If a habit isn’t front and center in my awareness, it’s not going to happen. I need a CUE—a clear, unmistakable reminder tied to my environment or routine.

 Setting Up Foolproof Cues 

For my bedtime meditation, I used a sticky note. I placed it on my bedside lamp where it disrupted my decor (ouch) and couldn’t be ignored. Every time I saw it, I thought, “Oh yeah, don’t forget to meditate tonight.” For a while, it worked. But by day nine, I got overconfident. I stopped paying attention to the sticky note, and the habit started slipping.  

Here’s the key: When the cue stops working, don’t adjust the goal—adjust the cue.

I moved the sticky note to where I place my phone at night. I reassigned its significance, thinking, “This is my reminder to meditate before bed.” Sure enough, it worked. By changing the cue, I kept the habit alive without spiraling into self-criticism. 

Creating Your Own
Foolproof System

Your sticky note might be something entirely different. The point is to find a cue that works for you. It could be:  

- Placing a water bottle on your desk to remind you to hydrate.  
- Setting your running shoes by the door as a signal to exercise.  
- Leaving a book on your pillow to remind you to read before bed.  
- Using phone alarms, apps, or calendar reminders for tasks you want to prioritize. 

The cue should be obvious, disruptive, and intentionally linked to your goal. If the cue stops working, don’t give up—just tweak it. Change its location, form, or timing until it clicks again. 

Why This Works

Cues are powerful because they trigger action. They serve as anchors, connecting your intention to your reality. Without them, your new habit is just one more thing to remember in a sea of obligations. But with the right system in place, habits become automatic—no inner critic, no shame, no defeat.

So the next time you struggle with a habit, don’t give up on the goal. Adjust your system. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about creating an environment that sets you up for success.

What’s one habit you’ve been struggling to stick with? And what’s one cue you can set up today to make it foolproof? Share your thoughts below—I’d love to hear how you’re building your own foolproof systems! 

You’re the Filet

Imagine you’re preparing an elaborate dinner for friends or family. You’re making filet mignons, cooked to that perfect medium-rare temperature—because let’s face it, anything else would be a travesty. Alongside the star of the meal, you’ve got a supporting cast of asparagus, mashed potatoes, gravy, and those amazing Rhodes rolls that have been rising all afternoon. Sounds delicious, right?

You’ve been prepping all day. The potatoes are peeled, the asparagus washed, and the rolls rising beautifully. As dinnertime approaches, the kitchen buzzes with activity. The potatoes are boiling, the asparagus is prepped with garlic and butter, the oven is preheated, and everything feels under control. You’re even seasoning your mashed potatoes to perfection when—ding—your phone rings. One of your guests is running late. 

No big deal, right? You’re flexible. You can adapt. But as you’re rearranging your plan to accommodate the delay, something starts to slip. Maybe you forgot about the rolls in the oven. Or the asparagus on the stovetop. Worst of all, what if you put the steaks on the griddle but didn’t stay focused? Suddenly, the filet—the star of the show—is overcooked. The whole meal feels like it’s lost its magic.

The Steak is You

Here’s the thing: you are the filet.

In life, we’re all juggling different responsibilities, represented by the potatoes (work), asparagus (family), gravy (friends), and rolls (hobbies). It’s easy to pour all your energy into these side dishes, trying to make everything just right for everyone else. But if you neglect the main dish—yourself—everything else suffers. 

Think about it: What happens if you’re overworked, exhausted, or burned out? The potatoes might taste amazing, the rolls might be fluffy, and the gravy might be smooth, but without a perfectly cooked steak, the entire meal falls flat. You are the centerpiece. You are the foundation. Without taking care of yourself, the rest simply doesn’t work.

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Checking on the Filet

So, how do you make sure your steak doesn’t get overcooked? It’s all about balance.  

1. Set a Timer for Yourself:
Just as you’d set a timer for the filet, you need to regularly check in with yourself. Ask questions like:  
- How am I feeling today?  
- What do I need right now to feel centered?  
- Am I prioritizing my well-being, or am I running on autopilot?  

2. Don’t Overcommit to the Sides:  
It’s easy to get sidetracked by work deadlines, family obligations, or social commitments. While these are all important, remember that they’re supporting roles—not the main event. 

3. Learn to Say No:  
Sometimes, you have to turn down extra gravy or skip the extra batch of rolls if it means preserving your energy. Your guests will survive if you serve less gravy; they won’t if the steak is a hockey puck. 

4. Adjust When Things Go Off-Script:  
When life throws you curveballs—like a late guest—it’s okay to adjust the timing of the sides. Just don’t let the unexpected derail your attention from yourself.

Balancing the Meal of Life

Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean ignoring your responsibilities. It means finding harmony between all the elements of your life. You can focus on your family, career, and passions without forgetting the most important ingredient: you. When you prioritize yourself, everything else benefits because you’re showing up as your best, most balanced self.

So next time you feel pulled in a million directions, remember: you’re the filet. Check on yourself, adjust as needed, and don’t let life’s sides distract you from what matters most. After all, a perfectly cooked steak is what makes the dinner unforgettable.  

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What’s one way you’ll “check on the filet” this week? Share your thoughts below—I’d love to hear how you’re making yourself the star of your own meal!