You’re the Filet
Imagine you’re preparing an elaborate dinner for friends or family. You’re making filet mignons, cooked to that perfect medium-rare temperature—because let’s face it, anything else would be a travesty. Alongside the star of the meal, you’ve got a supporting cast of asparagus, mashed potatoes, gravy, and those amazing Rhodes rolls that have been rising all afternoon. Sounds delicious, right?
You’ve been prepping all day. The potatoes are peeled, the asparagus washed, and the rolls rising beautifully. As dinnertime approaches, the kitchen buzzes with activity. The potatoes are boiling, the asparagus is prepped with garlic and butter, the oven is preheated, and everything feels under control. You’re even seasoning your mashed potatoes to perfection when—ding—your phone rings. One of your guests is running late.
No big deal, right? You’re flexible. You can adapt. But as you’re rearranging your plan to accommodate the delay, something starts to slip. Maybe you forgot about the rolls in the oven. Or the asparagus on the stovetop. Worst of all, what if you put the steaks on the griddle but didn’t stay focused? Suddenly, the filet—the star of the show—is overcooked. The whole meal feels like it’s lost its magic.
The Steak is You
Here’s the thing: you are the filet.
In life, we’re all juggling different responsibilities, represented by the potatoes (work), asparagus (family), gravy (friends), and rolls (hobbies). It’s easy to pour all your energy into these side dishes, trying to make everything just right for everyone else. But if you neglect the main dish—yourself—everything else suffers.
Think about it: What happens if you’re overworked, exhausted, or burned out? The potatoes might taste amazing, the rolls might be fluffy, and the gravy might be smooth, but without a perfectly cooked steak, the entire meal falls flat. You are the centerpiece. You are the foundation. Without taking care of yourself, the rest simply doesn’t work.
Checking on the Filet
So, how do you make sure your steak doesn’t get overcooked? It’s all about balance.
1. Set a Timer for Yourself:
Just as you’d set a timer for the filet, you need to regularly check in with yourself. Ask questions like:
- How am I feeling today?
- What do I need right now to feel centered?
- Am I prioritizing my well-being, or am I running on autopilot?
2. Don’t Overcommit to the Sides:
It’s easy to get sidetracked by work deadlines, family obligations, or social commitments. While these are all important, remember that they’re supporting roles—not the main event.
3. Learn to Say No:
Sometimes, you have to turn down extra gravy or skip the extra batch of rolls if it means preserving your energy. Your guests will survive if you serve less gravy; they won’t if the steak is a hockey puck.
4. Adjust When Things Go Off-Script:
When life throws you curveballs—like a late guest—it’s okay to adjust the timing of the sides. Just don’t let the unexpected derail your attention from yourself.
Balancing the Meal of Life
Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean ignoring your responsibilities. It means finding harmony between all the elements of your life. You can focus on your family, career, and passions without forgetting the most important ingredient: you. When you prioritize yourself, everything else benefits because you’re showing up as your best, most balanced self.
So next time you feel pulled in a million directions, remember: you’re the filet. Check on yourself, adjust as needed, and don’t let life’s sides distract you from what matters most. After all, a perfectly cooked steak is what makes the dinner unforgettable.
What’s one way you’ll “check on the filet” this week? Share your thoughts below—I’d love to hear how you’re making yourself the star of your own meal!
It Just Feels Wrong.
It just feels wrong...
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard clients or said to myself, “It just feels wrong” when it comes to doing something new, something for myself. Trust me, I get it. It feels wrong to tell my friend I don’t want to go watch her run the Little Apple half marathon. It feels like I’m a bad friend if I don’t go since she invited me. What I actually want to do that Saturday morning is sleep in, eat cereal on my couch in my pajamas while I watch reruns of *Modern Family*, laughing at how lame Phil is or how neurotic Claire is, wondering who I relate to more.
Is it wrong to want a lazy morning to myself when my friend wants me at her marathon? Does it make me a terrible friend that I’d rather watch TV and eat Lucky Charms on a cool October Saturday morning?
Not. At. All.
I love my friend. I love that she loves running, and I admire that she’s a morning person. She knows I love her, and she knows I hate mornings.
So after spending the day going through every possible scenario of how she’s going to hate me and think I’m selfish, I land on the fact that we know we love and support each other. If I woke up, bundled up to see her start her race, then not see her for another three hours, I’d only be loving her, not loving myself or giving myself what I need.
Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously. -Prentis Hemphill
But here's the kicker: even though I know this, I still feel terrible. I feel like I just did something wrong by not just going to her race. I could have sucked it up; I would have survived. But in that moment, I remind myself that self-care is not selfish—it's necessary. It’s okay to prioritize my needs, even if it feels uncomfortable.
So, I bite the bullet and send her my response: “Hey! I’m so excited for you to run; you’re going to kill it! I have plans to have a nice quiet morning to myself that day, so let's meet up later after your race for lunch!”
And then the wildest thing happened. She texted back: “Thank you! I’m nervous and excited about it! No worries, I’d love a quiet morning to myself— I guess that’s kind of what the race will be for me anyway. Lunch it is!”
In that moment, I felt a wave of relief wash over me. It’s a reminder that setting boundaries may feel wrong at first, but it opens the door for more authentic connections. So, to anyone out there struggling with the discomfort of saying “no” or prioritizing self-care—know that you’re not alone. It’s okay to feel guilty, but remember: your well-being matters too.
Take a Moment to Reflect
When was the last time you prioritized your needs over someone else’s? What boundaries do you need to set for yourself? Reflect on this, because taking that first step toward self-care is the most right thing you can do.